How to save earth from aliens invasion

Today, we’ll learn how to fight, how to protect ourself, how to be a real man ! Are you ready ? These kinds of tutorials are all over the web, you can therefore learn cooking, making up, building houses… It’s very educational and you can learn a lot of things in order to become a smarter person.

But you can also find weird videos on the dark web like this strong man who is going to teach you a primordial lesson for survival. First you need to get dressed, very dressed, extremely dressed… Just count how many layers of clothe this guys is wearing ! I swear he is more well equipped than those soldiers who fight in Syria, even a bazooka can’t go through him.

But wait, hold your breath because this hero is a true warrior and he is going to show it by slashing this redoubtable bottle of coke in a matter of seconds. Brace yourself, he trained for years and all his life’s purpose remain on this crucial moment, savour it, time has come to unleash his all mighty power against this bottle that took his family in hostage. He must succeed on their behalf and avenge them with one quick and precise movement. And… He missed, how if this even possible ?! It was a huge bottle of 2.5 liters not a can of 25cl. Calm down, don’t worry failure does not exist in this legend’s vocabulary, he will retry and this time it is the right take, he will not falter, all this unbearable thrill is going to end only one true winner will stand, this bottle will regret being made, this samurai had always preferred Pepsi. Then… He succeeded, that was so unexpected, quick and intense like the gesture of a ninja, I bet all my money on the bottle ! I must concede it, he was stronger than I thought. It was so majestic the way he finished by stabbing his katana on the table, it represents Excalibur’s sword.

I hope you found his explanations useful, if you don’t you’re not human and above all don’t hesitate to check his other masterpieces creations with the likes of how to act in case a burglar breaks in into your house and you are hidden with your saber or various techniques to handle every weapons possible and tested on very dangerous and harmful wooden sticks in his garden’s yard. Believe me this man know everything about sticks swords and fashion, our new messi just await to be recognized as its fair value. He invented this new art and at the moment it is yet unmatched by any other combat that had aver existed.

In conclusion don’t forget to get armed and together we can fight the most feared and hated ennemy on the entire universe : coke bottles, the whole future of our existence depends on it ! But I hope you liked it as much I enjoyed making it. Stay safe and goodbye ( little disclaimer : I’ll never come back again ).

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